The Ninth Month

Body awareness

Up until recently Zane really only recognised and consciously operated two prime parts of his body: his left hand and his mouth, the former being the lynchpin in the act of getting as much food into the latter as possible. Everything else seemed to be bodily attachments that were just “there”, doing their own thing, without him paying any real attention to them: his neck was something that held up his head and collected dribble; his right arm was an occasional assistant to the left when slippery pieces of food needed to be manipulated; his bum was something that provided cushioning when he sat, and which vibrated once in a while; and his feet were strange distant appendages that flashed into view whenever he got excited. But this month he made a number of discoveries...

Now, both of his hands can be used to make noise! With the correct timing and accurate aim, connecting two flat hands together at high velocity creates a clattering sound and provides immense enjoyment. And clapping does not require kitchen utensils to make a happy din. It’s even more fun when he can join in with others: when we are watching TV and there is applause on the show that is being broadcast, Zane claps along as though he is part of the television audience, producing surround sound for us. It’s better than Dolby.

He has a belly! After a meal he resembles a bonsai Buddha, with a big round belly protruding from above his trousers and from under his top. Zane now appreciates his stomach, the Collector of Food, by happily looking down upon his magnificent protrusion and pats it heartily with both hands after a meal.

And Zane has found his willy. Admittedly, it is hidden from view by his nappy most of the time, but once when he was sitting on the floor naked, he looked down and noticed a curious new bodily accessory. Naturally, he had a bit of a fiddle with it to try and ascertain its purpose but once that minute had passed, he was just content to hang on to it and move his attention elsewhere.

Can you do this?

Try this: sit on the floor with your legs in front of you, and then fold your body over so your head is on the floor between your feet. Too easy? Now go to sleep for several hours in that position.

Or this: kneel in front of a wall, resting your hands against it slightly above your head, arms rigid, and then straighten your legs with only your toes on the floor, keeping your torso from sagging.

Another challenge: from a sitting position grab one foot and bring it to your mouth, while staying in an upright position...at the dinner table

Do you find any of these difficult? If you can do them, you are probably a black belt yoga master, or a baby. 

Sound effects

Zane creates some noises that don’t seem appropriate for a baby. It’s funny when we hear them, but then we think, “Where did he get that from?” One of these sound effects would be at home on an alien film, and our boy achieves with when his mouth is full of excess saliva, which is pretty much during his every waking hour. Essentially he sucks air in through a pool of dribble seated on his tongue, creating a bubbling noise; the first time I heard it I found it disturbing as it reminded me of the sound that Hannibal Lecter made in Silence of the Lambs, and caused me to look quickly at the source: my son innocently combining air and spit for his aural enjoyment. 

He also has a giggle that has a slightly evil aura to it, a snigger that he unleashes occasionally when he is a little hyperactive or over-excited. It’s a low pitched and slightly manic “herherherherher”, a wicked chuckle that says, “Give me that banana now, or the phone gets it”. 

In the boy's eyes: Being A Baby (being-a-baby.blogspot.com).

The Fourth Month

Workout

Every morning Zane is a bundle of energy and enthusiastically performs a regime of exercises. He has developed a series of moves which no doubt could be demonstrated on a baby yoga video. First up is the “Petrified Starfish” where – lying on his back – he stretches his arms and legs out starfish-style and tenses every muscle in his body. Next is the “Pot Belly Bridge” where he lays as straight as possible and lifts his bulging belly as high as he can, so that only his ankles and head are touching the floor. Again, he does this tensing his whole body to the point where his little body is shaking with exertion and his cheeks go red. Then we have the “Spread Eagle” where, still on his back, he lifts his legs and parts them into a perfect little “V”, and holds it for an impressive period. Finally, he has his “Horizontal Squat” move, a pose that looks like he is riding an invisible motorbike up a wall, which doesn’t seem to exercise much apart from his clenched fists around the imaginary handlebars.

He isn’t quite yoga guru level yet; he needs to work on his breathing more. That is to say, he actually needs to breathe when doing these movements: he just clenches everything as tight as he can, grunting like a weight-lifter attempting to lift something slightly heavier than they are able. No doubt these exercises have some developmental purpose, however he just seems to do it all to show off! When he does them, he looks at me, his lips pursed, the blood rushing to his head, his eyes and cheeks about to pop as he tries the hardest to impress. Peculiarly, he knows that he needs to do something special when a camera is pointed in his direction, for which he always performs his Pot Belly Bridge, with extra grunting; it’s quite hilarious, and the effort is admirable, but unfortunately it doesn’t look as nice as his smile!

Planet Zane

Zane has worked out how to grab things with his hands. Once he grabs something, however, the next logical action for him is to try and eat it, like a hungry crab that funnels anything in its path into its ready mouth. It doesn’t matter what it is: his bib, his shirt, his blanket, all objects within reach are dragged into his awaiting mouth, like a dribble-laden black hole sucking anything within its gravitational pull. In fact, any intergalactic material orbiting Zane is likely to be drawn into his gaping saliva factory; I’ve almost lost fingers that were within gripping distance of his strong little claws.

We discovered why Zane has been producing enough dribble to create a large swamp. He has teeth! Two of them! We were expecting such a development at six months, not at three and a half. Jas discovered this by surprise early one morning - her loud exclamation was enough to wake me. It certainly makes breastfeeding more, er, interesting...

Talking whale

Zane has been experimenting more with his vocal range, trying different noises to see what he can produce and what feels good to him. Interestingly, when he talks to his toys, he makes noises that sound something like what whales might produce when in season. His conversation typically starts with a high pitched dolphin-like squeal that slowly descends a number of octaves into a nasal groan. I’m surprised there haven’t been a number of cases of marine mammals beaching themselves nearby. If ever they made an Adults Only version of Finding Nemo, Zane could be enlisted to do the sound effects for it.

Good lad

Zane watches a little TV occasionally. One evening while he was gently swaying in his bouncer and watching the news, some report came on about a girls’ school, which was naturally accompanied by footage of girls frolicking about in their playground. Zane was very quiet until this report, at which point he released a number of enthusiastic “oooh!” sounds. That’s my boy.

Zane's post: Being A Baby (being-a-baby.blogspot.com).